Milky Way
(Published in Jubilee City, 2005)

Mike’s girlfriend was a four-star chef from Seattle, and when she came to New York she would take him to four-star restaurants. He would meet other four-star chefs and eat their food. This was new to him to eat at places that had stars. Once she took him to Mecca of 1993, a restaurant at the top of the top with the brightest movie stars, sports stars and media stars all eating there. Mike and his girlfriend usually eat for free at these places because she had stars. But here they felt lucky to even eat standby. So as they waited, they drank a great bottle of Margot, and got acquainted with a couple from Texas; a big, white-haired 56 year old rich owner of a lawnmower company and his 38 year old secretary who had a kid. He was married and she wasn’t (hubba-hubba). It was crowded and they could eat sooner if all four could sit together. They were settled together at a big round table in the middle. The rich Texan said it’s on me and he ordered the ten course sampler minuet for four with a bottle of wine that complemented each course. The Texan was a foody and Mike’s date the chef narrated each course explaining the motivation and mechanics of the meal. The red-faced business man loved that. After the seventh course the secretary laid her face down between the plates. She was out. The glowing lawnmower mogul looked down at her and smiled then looked at Mike and the chef, winked and said she’s got a great ass. After the eighth and the ninth wine bottle opened, the four-star chef from Seattle ran for the restroom and she didn’t come back. But the businessman got the biggest laugh when Mike stood looking pale and staggered out through the arches of the starry palace. Mike then puked on the brick steps that led to paradise. Mike puked again and then had a moment of clarity; a realization that in such distant galaxies with so many stars that normal laws of nature don’t apply like total strangers buying you thousand dollar dinners that you don’t even have to hold down.